All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
