Midget sex pt 2 tonight
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
