Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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