her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
