Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
