Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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