I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
where are my eyebrows?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
