clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
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