I cockslap morals
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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