I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
