Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize