So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
