Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
