Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
