Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize