My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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