Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
