girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
