me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
