you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You're a waste of cheezeits
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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