We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize