Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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