Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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