Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I checked into jail on foursquare
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Blood and glitter go together right?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize