forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
