I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
