In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize