Sry I called you an 8
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
