Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?

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(941): View more from Florida

I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message

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(317): View more from Indiana

Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.

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(989): View more from Michigan

I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog

(989): View more from Michigan

They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear

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(714): View more from California

She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.

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(647): View more from Ontario

A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.

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(817): View more from Texas

She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.

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