...so i touched it.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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