I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
