My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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