I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I can't turn off my feet"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
