also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Come share oat with me in your robe
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
