Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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