Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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