hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
