she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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