I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
