Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
