I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she pinky promised me she was 18
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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