oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
