Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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