dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
