his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
