Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
