Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize