Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
