I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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