yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
