it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Pooping to opera.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
