My hand turned me down
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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