I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
there's paper in my vomit.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
