Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
