would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize