youre lurking in front of me
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
