Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's rum buckets o'clock
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