Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He felt like a one man threesome
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
