im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
