she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
