After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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