But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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