theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
