East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
