loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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